There are times when....

There are times when I don't share
because I don't have time
or because there isn't anything much to share
or because I don't know what I think yet

and sometimes I don't feel valued in the living
and I know that I would feel valued if I did allow myself the time to feel valued
but in the living, where is the time?
So, I am thinking of asking for the Love and healing at the time of not feeling good in the living...

and I know in the living when it isn't the best

So it seems like how to allow the healing at that time of my standing still and not saying anything in the living. I have to do this.... this... be what I am.... in the living....

I am just so aware and was yesterday, that sometimes, I just sort of... get through....

Where is the wow in that?
Life isn't just for the getting through, is it?
Life is for living and laughter and love ( when it can be....)

So... just..... wondering how this now time can be better.

How to feel the value of me in the living
and
when I am not posting
when I am not sharing
when I don't feel noticed
when there isn't the time that would allow me feel valued

So this is my today question...
how to allow the healing and the feeling of being valued to happen in the living as I go along,
for the Love to be alive and on the spot in the being of me, as I go through each day

and to work out how to share the times when it is not the optimum best. It is just....I ought to get things better than I do..... others do.... they just seem to just do things and they don't stand silently... they just get on with it....I just need to allow the movement through me...

I will step into today and just asking for that closeness and togetherness of being and the help that I need to be with me to do today.
I just need to feel alive in the living.
I am asking for Love....
and oh so much Love for each of you....
I Love you..

I am going to ask for Love to be with me at exactly the time if I don't feel good about myself whilst I do today....
I am going to ask for strength to be within me in the living...
I just want to be able to move and be me, in the living!

Asking for the old things I don't need to blow away in the wind and to be carried out by the tide...
Asking for the beauty of the unseen crystal snow on the tops to be with me...
and for the warmth of the golden sunset to be within me....

May the Love of today be totally with you.....

What do you do when you are awake in the middle of the night?

I got my washing done
and sent you both Love.

Love for today this Sunday and for always...

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What do you do when you are awake in the middle of the night?

Well, it doesn't happen often, but when it does I will either read or write. In fact the need to write is usually what awakens me.

As Elizabeth Gilbert said, sometimes the "poem" awakens me as it roars past and I must record it for myself or for posterity.

It is those moments when I either feel the most connected or the least connected to things around.

Nancy,
thank you for your patience...

It is the middle of the night and I am awake again...

the moon is shining so brightly that when I opened my eyes I thought that it is morning.

I don't think I have awoken to write, it is just the feeling of the energy that awakes me.

And that is alright and I don't know why but that is alright too....

I send Love....

I deleted this morning's post......

all I said was that I awoke with tears.... and I asked....why would I do that
when I had asked for healing whilst I slept.

But tears are a form of cleansing.

Just sometimes, when I am busy and the day has been so so long, and I feel that all I want to do is sleep, then to be able to ask for healing whilst I sleep,
it feels like such a bonus that this is possible....

And I am thankful that it is possible to say..
I entrust myself into your care.

Flit wrote:

What do you do when you are awake in the middle of the night?

When I was younger I play "colors".
I do not know if someone else plays that game too or name it differently.It's a very relaxing game.When you awake in the middle of the night and if you don't wan't to get up it's a game I enjoyed (before going to bed also).

So you lay on your bed.
You must be as confortable as possible not to be disturb by any inconfort in your body (no thigh clothes, unconfortable posture...).

Eyes closed you may see a dot...Sometimes it take time to come.
I guess it depend on how relax you are (or are not).

This a dot is suround by black (your eyes are close so you can only see the dot).And this dot has a color.
Focuse on the color of the dot ...for example let said the dot is royal blue then wish an other color...Pink...
And transform the royal blue.... in pink...

That does lovely rainbow colors like water colors mixing together.
You can decide "Oh no I do not like this pink I want a pink more this or less that...and you can tranform the pink too.
While you create the pink other colors will appear.
Maybe one you love especially so give up for the pink and decide to pick that one and make it bigger, bigger , bigger...

I can play colors not for hours but for quite long time for sure.
I didn't play that much to this game any more because I do not sleep a lot and I need my sleep.

I barely never awake before morning but it happen sometimes and usuallly as I am a little sleeper there is no way I fall asleep again even if I play color or pick a book.
As I feel sleepy when it happen, before I watch TV. But early morning there is only boring stuff and even that doesn't manage to make me fall asleep again ( surprisingly good movies manage to make me fall asleep.I love them so I relax.Stupid programs keep me awake).

Now, I do not even try the TV anymore.
I take a glass of water with essence of white chesnut.
White chesnut is a Bach essence to stop the ideas going on in never endding circles.

When you have problem to fall asleep...even if you are sure you think about nothing, your brain is working.
It might be totally inconscious but it's on something.
White chesnut allow to let go the obscessive idea(s)...and go back to sleep pacefully.

First time I try, I was staring at the roof in silent.I was sure my mind was totally empty...I have no idea taking me awake.Not a single one. I could have bet about that, but after some minutes I give up and decide to try the White chesnut.
Less than five minutes after I was asleep again.This prouv me that despite I wasn't aware of it, my mind was thinking of something.
Usually when I awake I try not to move.If I get up , use my body, there is not hope I will fall asleep again.
The first time, I decide to try the White chesnut for faling asleep again I get up to take a glass for the esence I though:" it will not work as I have to walk to the kitchen and back to bed."
But it work really great.

I really think you should try it (if you want to got back to sleep) next time you awake too early.
Sleep is important and vital.
We need it so you must try to give your body some quality sleep...and if he doesn't want it? do not listen to him and be the stuborn one .
Your body refusing to relax is only stress and if you don't give him sleep it will become even more stress and that can spiral to insomnia to some.

Flit wrote:

But tears are a form of cleansing.

Tears are totally usefull.
The society teach us to repress feelings and tears but this is wrong.
Feelings must be express, not repress the way they are and tears are part of expressing things and leting go others.

In tears there are chimical componants, very tiny that are simply toxic and depressing...when you cry you let them go.This is why we fell so muh better after crying...despite it gives unsexy red bunny eyes

Hello Blandine,

How are you?

I am thinking I would like to change my user name. How easy would that be?

Hi Cath,

It's real simple:

1- Choose any post you have write.
2-Under the text, on the right of your avatar/number of post/age/ information, there are 2 rectangulars ( I have to change those because they are not real pretty...so many things to do...)
One said "Profile" the other "PM" for Private Message.
Choose "Profile"
Then you will access your details.
Under your avatar and rank, you can find an other link called "Profile" again.
3 - Click that one and change anything you wish.

If you didn't manage to change it by yourself, I can do the change(s) for you if you rather like.
You will have to give me your new pseudo of course as I have no idea what you have choosen but I am totally curious and so please because I didn't think the current one suits you nicely

Blandine, thank you....

I just want to be called Catherine

and wish now to leave the time of Flit as part of my past.

I send Love....

Catherine

Hey!

That wasn't too hard was it?

( Thanks )

I have spent too long on the forums, wasting my time, sitting wanting to post and wanting to write.

I need to spend my time more wisely
but I also know that at times I do need to write.
( What does that mean? and why do I? )

Some write for no one ever.
It never gets published or read.

The web makes things different for those who write now.

But....
Why should anything be different for me?
And just because I wanted to share the Love.

But everyone wants to do their living their way.

So, I will go and see what there is as I live each day
and I will continue to think the Love when it seems right to,
also knowing of the Love when it just happens.

Blandine, you shared something with me about quality not quantity.
I am remembering that now and thank you.

Catherine wrote:

I just want to be called Catherine and wish now to leave the time of Flit as part of my past.

Oh Catherine, this is wise and so deeply right that there is a Love wave connected to this choice.

Catherine wrote:

Hello Blandine,

How are you?

I am fine and so so please to see you growing more into YOU.

This is a fanstastic news to enjoy and that goes so well with this radiant spring.
I love spring time...and I am sure I am going to enjoy this spring especially.
Thank you for being one of the lovelyest things to enjoy this spring Catherine

Catherine wrote:

I have spent too long on the forums, wasting my time, sitting wanting to post and wanting to write.

I need to spend my time more wisely

Maybe now it no more time about Wanting but about Doing?
Maybe it's butterfly time?
It's Spring time what a perfect time to become more YOU !

I just want to write as Catherine,

but when the time is right.

This is something I have always done.... it isn't new...

I want to know the real you
I want to know what makes you tick
I want you to be comfortable enough to be able to share your heart's desires
I want to know your inner smiles
I want you to share your tears and your fears
I want to know if you are alright...

and when you are not.
I want to be able to show you that you are
beautiful
glorious
amazing
and just the experience of being here is enough...

Yesterday, I realised I have strength.

This isn't new, but it is what I have always done....
especially in the living...

it's the sharing....
even in just a smile or a thought or a knowing of I Love you in the living....

hello...
and how are you
today?

And, if you don't want to say
that is fine, too,
and I hope you are alright
and when you are not,
I will be there for you,
if you want it to be so.

Catherine wrote:

I want to know the real you
I want to know what makes you tick
I want you to be comfortable enough to be able to share your heart's desires
I want to know your inner smiles
I want you to share your tears and your fears
I want to know if you are alright...

and when you are not.
I want to be able to show you that you are
beautiful
glorious
amazing
and just the experience of being here is enough...

Whaoo Catherine this is totally beautifull...You are a poete.

Your words are really powerfull.When I read from you it's like if you were just talking to me..I mean not writing from somewhere far...but simply whispering to me, gently and so close..it's really lovelly.
I do not understand what keep you from writing because you write so brilliantly
You not writing, is a such waste.

Catherine wrote:

hello...
and how are you
today?

And, if you don't want to say
that is fine, too,
and I hope you are alright
and when you are not,
I will be there for you,
if you want it to be so.

I never know if you speak to me or in a general mannner to anyone who can read you ...but that doesn't matter..I read you as if you write to me especially...so I can asnwer.

I am cold today.I do not know why.
I have or better said had a disease...a disease linked with cold ..suposingly one you can't cure.
But I have cure it quite well.So well that my nails are now real strong.This is totally new to me , as the illness make my nails extra soft...Now they are strong so more than feeling it I am going better I also can see it.
I have notice this for some months but my nails being that strong is really new. I am so unsure if it that I have brake one..Never brake my nail before they do not grow enought to be broken....so I do not understand how and why I am cold.This is mysterious..The heating is on and it's not especially cold outside I guees ( I have not check ).

So I am cold but happpy.
Tomorow it's week end!!!!
I work all week (for weeks) on my website but there is plenty I can't do.Way too technical for me.
I need my snoopje to do it for me.He can only do that on week end of course.
So when it's week end I work even more than during week but it's lovelly because I see the progression of the web site and all I have design on one software is put on an other one.
I am totally impatiente..Very Christmas kid kind.

And you how are you?
You know what I love you...but I know nothing from you.....
One day you should come visit me...or I will come seing you.
You are closer to visit than Nancy.

Sometimes I wonder if one day I will meet eachother.That would be so nice

Hello Blandine,

I am very touched by your words.... thank you.

Yes I have wondered this too....

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Sometimes I wonder if one day I will meet eachother.That would be so nice

... it would be lovely...

Blandine, I hope you are feeling warmer......

Quote :

And you how are you?
You know what I love you...but I know nothing from you.....

I am fine, but a little tired tonight...... but I am glad that I do not have to work tomorrow...
I am looking forward to not having to rush around at 5am!!!

As I came home from work, I noticed the beautiful sunlight shining across the bay.

You are so so right... it is a beautiful time of year!

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it's like if you were just talking to me..

Blandine, your sharing is so so lovely.

Quote :

I never know if you speak to me

I wrote from my heart.

I send Love for your today.