Let's play game!!!!

Quote :

And I can be me or I can try out another way of being. It's all okay!

So, if I can't talk or if I couldn't share for some reason, then that is okay?

But, I thought that it was about being me... about being true to myself...

so, the times when I have been unable to speak or share is just as much alright as the times when I can say something....

but,.,,, silent me, who stood so so still, was and is still okay then....
phhew,,,,....

I know so very well about rigidity.
I have lived it in the living
and I have lived with it in my body

and I know I am being rigid when my neck hurts...

so, it is a revelation to read this...

Quote :

I don't have to play by the same rules every day. I can change them as I want to or as it seems to be indicated. Sometimes someone else changes the rules. And I can be me or I can try out another way of being. It's all okay!

Nancy, thank you.

Quote :

I don't have to play by the same rules every day. I can change them as I want to or as it seems to be indicated. Sometimes someone else changes the rules. And I can be me or I can try out another way of being. It's all okay!

Just one last thing....
I don't know how to do this yet....
go with it all,......
but what I do know is when I do feel the Love.

I don't know when or why it just happens...
but I am always thankful when it happens.

If it was the same all the time
then I wouldn't know when it does happen.

I hope you sleep well and I send Love...

Two things to share, Catherine

Even when I was very, very small I insisted on being myself. I would not be what my mother wanted me to be and it hurt her. She is still hurt by what she sees as my rejection.

I don't see it as rejection, rather as being what I had to be. There is a photo of me during toilet training and on the back is the quotation, "Me do it myself!" So I was always an independent cuss.

As a child and teen I had to learn what it was like to be someone else, because I never felt that me being me was acceptable. I tried on lots of other masks and learned how to wear them at the appropriate time--mostly. That's when I feel insecure.

Point two: The times when I am deeply troubled or deeply moved are the times that I cannot speak. Those are the times that I cannot discover which mask to wear and I am totally at a loss to know how to proceed. It hasn't happened often, but it is such a paralyzing event that I lose all ability to move, much less to be me.

And sometimes the best way to be ourselves in a particular situation is to remain silent--because sometimes our words make things more difficult or, at the very least, don't help.

To combine the two points, I have discovered that for me it is easiest to just let myself be real. Let the Me that may or may not be accepted handle the situation. That's what I did when I followed my heart as a child and that's the most authentic Me I have found.

But no matter what, I know that what I am is right in the eyes of Spirit. I know that those angels are closer when I am uncomfortable, but they are nearby always.

Can you let go of the fear that you are not all right? That somehow Spirit does not approve of who you are or what you do? I would suggest that it is that one thing that creates the greatest gulf between Spirit and humans. Humans judge. Spirit loves us NO MATTER WHAT!!

If I could give you one Forever Gift, it would be that understanding. Catherine is perfect as she is!!

Nancy, thank you for your words.

Can I share a Catherine thought when I read this?....

Quote :

If I could give you one Forever Gift, it would be that understanding. Catherine is perfect as she is!!

That for me reads that I don't need "healing" and that nothing needs to be "put right" which leads me to this....

Quote :

Can you let go of the fear that you are not all right?

omg....it isn't the fear that I am not alright, but the fear that if I was alright, then I wouldn't need the healing which translates for me that I wouldn't then need the Love.

so, the "Forever Gift" is Love, anyway!
So..... I don't need to be "needy" to receive...

Quote :

Spirit loves us NO MATTER WHAT!!

My last thought before I need to get going....
so now I can discover and allow how the Love moves
if I am not being needy
and I am alright!

Which leads me to this...

Quote :

The game is to find the joy in it all! I can think of no greater purpose than that; to find fun and oneness in each moment.

Thank you....

Catherine,

Don't you bathe from time to time? Is it a bad thing to need to bathe? Or do you accept it as a natural part of living?

Healing is just as natural--a way to clear the body and being of the things that are not necessary.

We don't think that only "needy" people should shower, nor should only "needy" people receive healing. All of us bathe and receive healing and breathe. And we accept that we can swim or paddle on the beach or walk in the rain anytime we want, or even drink that water because we are thirsty.

You are Catherine and always have Love every moment of every day. The feeling of Love is simply a way to communicate that it is there. It's a quick touch to remind you. =)

Catherine wrote:

I cannot play the game….
I need to share something that is about me …
And that is why it is not the game
Because this may only be relevant to me
And so may not really be of any importance to helping you with the web-site…

It is this,….
I have been touched, since reading....
especially in the sharing of you......

One of the things is
from reading your web-site is this...
I know that if it is possible for us to meet....
that you will “understand”.

I just feel that you will understand what I may not be able to say......
but that will be alright because of you.... because of your knowing....

Quote :

I shall check your body to see what it wishes to tell me about your situation.
Your beliefs and feelings are held there, like printed on a living book: Yourself.

I cannot begin to explain how this is making me feel.

Oh Catherine this is really...above lovely

I did the web site to advertise my practice of course.
Ideally if I could decide, I would select my patients.
I would only take those who have severe conditions, little hope to fix them and do not know where and to whom turn to for some relief.
I mean I would love some people pick my because they think I am special and as I am special I can help them...
But I have no illusion about being special and being find by plenty to be that and only that.
I am special to only very very very few.
And it's good this way.
Maybe more I would not be able to cope.
So I do what I do.

I really think when we need something we find it.
So it's not to me to find those who really may need me but them to find me.
They will go where the wind will push them..if it push them somewhere.

I hope that while I will wait for those few ones I will be able to meet some more classic patients.If not I will have to find a more normal job very soon.
I really love the Bach remedies but I have a money related problem.I do not think healing and money should mix.Health should be free.

Healing is changing.
Evolving.
Growing.
For some you have meet growing subject is rude.
I think we are emotional being and also growing being.
There is no shame and no rudness in that.
So if in any way the web site can manage to allow you to unfold your wings and to grow more into yourself.
If the website can be a tiny push for you.
If he can be part of anyone, even only onetransformation process...he is, like the Bach essence a catalyst for change and that, to go back to Nancy question, I think I can be delighted and totally proud of.

In the titlle of this exchange I have ask you both to play no being you.
But Bach essences are only about being us, more us, deeper and deeper.
They are tools to reach our heart and our soul.
So if despite I ask you, for not being you for some time , your only answer is to be you even more...I think for that too I can be proud.

I had dream of a beautifful web site.
I was expecting it to be pretty to make the visit enjoybale.
I was wexpecting it to be usefull for me to share a bit of my love for the Bach essences.
And deeper, way deeper I was expecting more than that...I was expecting it to be moving and to be powerfull.
And it seems it is.As pretty as soft as clean I have try to make it look...it can be wind for some.

You see Nancy..wind loves the water...they are never far from each other.
You were wondering about the wind.It' seems there is not much in it but enought for some who may want to make the most of it

In fact I am over the moon.
So this sharing was great and thanks a lot for it Catherine

Catherine wrote:

I went for a walk today. At one point I passed over a crystal clear stream. I could see the bottom with the colourful stones and the green oxygenating plants. And I stood on the wooden bridge and listened, really listened….. and the water sounded just like the web-site water.

I would like to tell some little more about that water.
That water is not basic water.
That water is not some water.
That water is special water.
That water is the very special one I dream about.
That water is the one who fill all the field of my wish list.

I wanted a quiet river.
I wanted a rivier that was related to me.
I wanted a river that whisper about balance.
I wanted a iver form which it was possible to make a loop (having the sound going on again without hearing the beging and the end...a continuous sound.Fluidity with no interuption.

I am bad with sound.
Some are good in music and languages.I am not.Sound skill is clearly not part of me.
So when I decide to find a sound that was really challenging to me.
I said Afif I want sound on the website and he said "No way!I strongly advise you no to do so because sound on website stress me...always"
So I Knew for a fact that some people didn't enjoy sound when they are on internet.
I am part of them, but if I cut the sound and that it fine, other despite they turn the sound right away find it nevertheless agressive...and keep that negative feeling in them for some long minutes.
I didn't want that at all.In fact this could ruin all the rest so I knew I have to be extra carefull.
I knew I have to deal with some people with a very low level of tolerance.Some who could not stand a sound they didn't choose for.
To please these kind of people was my goal.
Lucky for my I had a guinea pig of this kind to help me at home.I would be able to test the sound on him before putting him on line.

The sound was in my mind I knew what sound would do the trick.
I simply didn't know where to find it.
I have a database of sounds.
I didnt think it could be on it.If I had this so special sound I would knew about it but I check... in vain.
I have a friend very turn into healing and relaxation so I ask her.I ask her water music, water sound but as she didn't have any and wanted to help me, she send me human made musics.The ones she enjoy to relax.Her music stress me right away...
1 second gives me the worse headhake i ever ever had in m whole life.
How can a sound that relax some one can be so painfull to someone else?
There was no way I use that music. so hurtfull to me and potentially to anyone else.

I had explain her in great details what I was looking for and as a result I had a huge headhache.There was no way to miss that one and not to understand what it could mean.
I had to find the sound alone and noone could help me.
The sound was in my mind..I just need to find it.
When I will meet it I will recognize it.
Untill that moment I was not able to share it.It was in my mind and only in my mind...But I know it was somewhere else around for me to be find.

I am not a teenager anymore so there are load of annectodes about me of course...
One being I am born in a windy part of France, close by the sea, in the Pyrenees.
Pyrenees are Mountains...And yes they are lovely, wild, and ..oh they are great really.

As I write you before Bach remedies help us to find balance.
In the Bach flower therapy balance is when we are yourself.
Deply trully yourself.Centred.
But there is no balance if there is no movment.
Balance can't be static.
Balance is because there is oposite...and when oposite meet there is harmony...and balance.

So here I am...wanting my perfect sound saying about all these.
With these so many notions...in it the same time? I wanted it to be simple

Sometimes I have such crazy obcessions...but I am so so sure it will be ok

So here is the story of what I expect the water to be.
Now here is what the personn who pick it...just for me..some years ago write about it.
You may enjoy it.....

Beautiful babbling mountain stream. 2 water flows coming around both sides of a rock.
Recorded in the Pyrenees, France in August 2002.

2 water flows merging into one...Whaooo this is the water who really whisper balance.

Afif can stand to listen to it...for hours...Hefind it...so relaxing...He work with it..and If the computer is n he put the webiste on just to have it one always

Yes it is my perfect sound..and if now some don't enjoy it that is not a problem anymore because I find it perfect.

Catherine wrote:

One day, I hope to be able to take you both to this place of crystal clear flowing water and listen with you and see what else we can discover...

As the river is flooding where it's flooding, that mean we both should come visit you

Catherine wrote:

I send you both Love
and this sharing of I haven't had a normal day.
I have had a deeply touched day
and I have sat on my swing seat and began to love the new spaces of here.

Thank you for your sharing.
I hope you are both having a good day..

I hope you too had a lovely day

Nancy, thank you....

I love the logic in your words!....

Quote :

We don't think that only "needy" people should shower, nor should only "needy" people receive healing. All of us bathe and receive healing and breathe. And we accept that we can swim or paddle on the beach or walk in the rain anytime we want, or even drink that water because we are thirsty.

Blandine...
thank you for your sharing...

I love the story of how the music evolved for your web-site...
of how it just seems to lead and lead and lead.... till it is right!

And!!!!.....

Quote :

we both should come visit you

That would be fantastic!


And thank you...

Quote :

I hope you too had a lovely day

I hope you have had a good day too....

I will keep looking at your web-site
and enjoying....

Blandine, thank you for sharing such beauty...
I am richer for your sharing...

I keep thinking I am noticing little changes in the web-site...

Catherine,

I remember how I was astounded when Keith said that he didn't need healing! It made me see that some people only think of healing as fixing something, not as the living lubrication that I understand it to be.

Catherine wrote:

Quote :

we both should come visit you

That would be fantastic!

I have this in my mind for long time.
It's only when Nancy said about it that I said about to Afif.
He is he finds that's a lovely idea too.
He ask where you can live...than remember.
What matters to him is how far can't it be because we do not have often opportunities to go away.
When it's not too far we can manage to steal a week end without it being of any consequence on his job.

Hi Blandine....

I will e-mail you my address....

Please let me know a good time for you....

Catherine wrote:

I keep thinking I am noticing little changes in the web-site...LovLetter

These were the changes made last week end in fact.
I can't change the web site alone.
Even if I work on it...I check the problems and decide what changes I may want.I can do them on other softwares but not on the software Afif work with for the web site.
Tomorow is week end so Afif will be able to make the last changes I was preapre for him.
After those ones, the website may change only very litlle.
So this sunday you will be able to enjoy the quite definitive version (if a web site can ever have a definitiv version..it's like a garden..it's alive and always slowly evolving..)

There are some big changes I would like to consider but it's not sure he will manage to make them.
There is an hotline with the template.
I have ask them for some help but they answer this is way too complexe and they refer me to some other compagny may be asking a lot of money for that.I even didn't bother to ask them a quote for that.

If at least Afif is able to do most of the tiny changes that would be great and I would be delighted with any improvement he will be able to realise.
I am totally impatiente of being tomorow...and sunday..and monday...


I have to share something with you about monday...
I am about to have a very special patient monday afternoon...
A journaliste!!!
I hope so much she will love the sceance and would write an article.
Someone writing about the flowers for me..That would be ...whaoo....
..

Catherine wrote:

Please let me know a good time for you....

It's going to be hard to said a lot in advance.
We are kind of people planning thing long time and delaying, delaying, delaying.
Next week we go to France.This has been delayed for...3 years to give you an idea of the extend on how we poorly deal with our planning.

We need to fix the car...for months...years....
There is a lot of jobs to do on it.
And I have a broken thooth for....
Of course all is urgent..for years.....
The assistant of my dentist so much laugh when I call this morning.

She ask me what was wrong because I beg for an appoitment despite there was none available..I teel her I brake a thooth some days after he fix it last time..and it was long time ago..She check what I may mean by long time...and found it was 3 years ago....
She laugh so much she said she will make an exception, a favor for me..In french we said I do you ..."a flower"...Isn't it cute?Making a flower for someone.....
I have not hear that expression for years..and I love it.

My dentist...I do not want an other one..
He is a great guy.So gentle..
He never hurt me.
Other dentists???I had plenty.all of them the same.
I told them if you hurt me I will bite you...They didn't believe I would dare.I wonder sometimes do I look like a liar???) of course I bite them all.

Him...he never hurt me.
I do not know how he manages.
He is incredible..an he has a such lovely name.
He is called..." "
Yes for real..that is how I pick him...
the day I came to the center..there were several dentists..I know noone of them and I wonder which one...and I think maybe the name will help..
And it does

We were planning to go to France for years.
I hope we are not going to do the same with you.
You are way closer so we are going to try...
I was thinking to come...maybe when your country is all in heather colors?
When we do not travel to fix the car or my theeth..we travel following the season of the Bach essences.
Afif love to travel this way and he remember the place because of the Bach flower.
He do not know their name but he the color.He is so cute.

he would make you laught so much.
Some months ago I show hi some mimulus growing beside the road he take every day to go to work.
One day he was with me he take that road..He should not have so I ask him if he make a mistake.
he said no we are going ot said hello to a friend of you...
Ah??
I have little firends so I wonder...when I realise he bip bip the flower and should "hello beautifull you"
What a laught....

So he love to travel to meet my friends..the human and the flowery ones.
He know I only have very fews and that they are precious to me.

Do you remember, some months ago, when you tell me about Heather?
You ask me about the plant and you describe some places you love so much.
I love it so much..I though I would love to meet this wild heather...
I have met heather sometimes but it wasn't the one I was looking for.
it wasn't one I wanted to make an essence with....
When I read your words about Heather..I start to dream..I would love you to bring me in a place you love deeply...and there I would make a special Heather/Catherine essence

All around where we live the are Gorse growing.
I have to make a gorse essence but I do not want because I know where grow the Gorse i want for my essence: Brown Sea Island...the red squirel island.

It's may look stuborn and stupid but I have decide my gorse is the squirel island one..and Heather is Cather heather.
So you see...I HAVE to come and see you otherwise I will miss one very special essence

Smiling and smiling at all this!

The heather is purple in the summer holidays and the mountains look like they are glowing purple. I can sit and enjoy for hours!

Quote :

When I read your words about Heather..I start to dream..I would love you to bring me in a place you love deeply...and there I would make a special Heather/Catherine essence

For me, it would be awesome to see you enjoying the heather and their colour is so vibrant in August.

And there were so many flowers out today even some pink primroses... I don't ever remember noticing them being that colour before!

Today I walked besides Ennerdale lake and paused on the bridge where the stream is singing her song, and then I sat besides the sparkling lake and went to sleep!

I send Love and can feel Love...

And I will be thinking about you on Monday...

Quote :

It made me see that some people only think of healing as fixing something, not as the living lubrication that I understand it to be.

Originally, I thought that it meant that I would become superfit and I worried about the fairness of that.

I'm thinking about the difference between normal maintenance for the car and building a racecar. =)
Fit and superfit!


Blandine, enjoy your trip to France. And please don't bite the dentist. . .

Chuckling at the pics...

and have a lovely time, Blandine in France

Hello Blandine...

I hope yesterday went well....

and I am enjoying reading the extra words on the web-site. I was wondering if you would add words to go with the flower pictures.

Love for you...

Holos wrote:

Blandine, enjoy your trip to France. And please don't bite the dentist. . .

Ok Nancy I promise....but he has never deserve to be badly treated.I am sure he is as kind as I remember him.

I wish we are going to be able to enjoy the trip to France...I though we will go there to fix some things we have delay for months and after everything would be just ...simple and maybe a bit relax..for a change....
Unfornuatly the landlady had decided it differently and call us yesterday asking to move.House hunting was not really what we plan to play when comming home.....

Catherine wrote:

Hello Blandine...

I hope yesterday went well....

Yesterday????
Almost went well...In fact I was really pathetic I have to admit.
Everythinh was fine ...as with anyone until she lay down on the treatment bed...then suddently she become a journalist and start wondering and wondering about me.

It was supose to be time for her not time for me...as a result I had to be extra focuse on her to understand and try to answer...and there was no way for me to be focuse on my feeling...I had to be focuse on her words and on mine to asnwer back.

I only manage to connect with her from time to time
So it was poor healing...a disaster...Maybe a bad movie would have been more relaxing than me.

15 minutes before the end of the treatment she said she find herself sleepy and that it was hard for her to resist to fall asleep.

So in fact:All the time I have spend to relax her...she has spent it to stay alert and talking....

Catherine wrote:

I am enjoying reading the extra words on the web-site. I was wondering if you would add words to go with the flower pictures.

Love for you...

Yes that the plan.I have to write about each of the Bach essences but this will need I have time for it.
I was supose to write this on the french forum...Never find the time for...There is the Te Mana Bach Flower also...No time for that one too....
But as soon as I can I will...The moving is not going to help this to happen very soon.
This is really bad timing